EXPOSURE ICON

For a reason or for a season: Releasing the pain of lost relationships

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 01:20:49 +0000

When someone withdraws their love from you, whether it is a lover, a friend or a relative, it truly hurts. It is especially painful when you have committed yourself and your feelings to the relationship. One reaction to this kind of pain is to blame yourself. You wonder what you did or what could be wrong with you. Now let me be the first to say that self reflection is definitely healthy. You should look back on the situation as objectively as possible and analyze your role. However, what I want to say to those of us who are committed friends, loving spouses, good siblings and caring sons/daughters, is sometimes, IT”S NOT YOU! When you have done all you can do in a relationship and it ends, despite your efforts….Let it go! Not everyone who enters your life is meant to be there forever. There are people and situations that sometimes present themselves for a reason or a season. When that purpose has been fulfilled they may need to move out of your life to make room for what is next. I am not saying, by any means, that this is always easy. In fact, it can cut like a knife. And I am also not saying that we should make a habit of ending relationships without a second thought. What I am saying is that it is not worth your well being or your growth, to blame yourself for that person’s exit. In my situation, I almost begged the person to come back. I tried appealing to the depth of our friendship and reminding them of that love…only to be struck down. At that point, I had to remind myself that nothing is forever. What I shared with this person obviously meant something different to me than it did to them and I had to except that. In the meantime, God placed others in my life who filled that emotional hole and reminded me of who I am. They fed my soul in a way that helped to heal my broken heart and wounded spirit. What I loss began to seem trivial and pale in comparison to the love I was surrounded with. Don’t misunderstand me, it is normal to mourn the loss of any relationship. When we connect with people on an emotional level, we give them part of ourselves. What is not normal, or healthy, is when we let that sadness diminish our feelings of self worth. Don’t let someone else’s carelessness with your feelings dim your light. “You are fearfully and wonderfully made”-Psalms 139:14.. No one has the right to make you feel like any less than the divine creation you are. If they leave, let them and prepare yourself for the wondrous blessing God has in store for you. Remove the baggage to make way for the blessing.

The Death of Happily Ever After…or not?

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 23:22:03 +0000

So, you know how it is when your friends keep asking about you about “that guy”. The one who is on again and off again. You almost want to wear a sign saying “it’s over..today” LOL! Anyway, my Sis knows I hardly ever talk about my love life. I prefer to keep the good stuff to myself and definately don’t tell the bad!! With that said, sometimes you get tired of people asking you how it’s going with so and so. That’s the basis behind this little ditty…. BTW, the title is another story…

IF THE SHOE FITS….
My friends keep asking me, if I’ve heard from you
Causing me to remind them that you and I are through
We started out a little rocky but it was better and better each day
I’m not sure how or why, but now we’ve lost our way

This, of course, is not new to me, I’ve been down this path before
Each time vowing and promising, I just won’t do it anymore
It makes me question whether to even try again
Knowing in my heart it will eventually end
I know I should feel more optimistic and not so full of dread
But repeated broken hearts can make you loose your head

I remember the days when I was hopeful and believed in happily ever after
Until relationship after relationship ended in disaster
I won’t say I’m bitter, mad or even scorned
But the loss of my fairy tale ending will be forever mourned

One day I’ll open my heart and maybe let someone new in
One day I’ll focus on the beginning and middle more than I do the end
One day I’ll be revived, refreshed and renewed with the hopes of love
One day I’ll shed this sadness and this hurt I’ll rise above
I hope and pray this will happen one day
That my heart won’t always feel this way

Where is your shelter?

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 23:45:36 +0000

Where is your shelter? I don’t want to start with cliches like, “no man is an island” ” it takes a village” blah, blah, blah. I will say, however, that we all need something other than ourselves to make it through this life. What is that for you? If it took you more than a second to think of an answer, maybe you need to reevaluate a few things. Recently, I lost someone very dear to me. Yes, we all have to die. It is the natural order of life. But watching someone you love die a slow painful death is a very difficult experience. And it is without a doubt, the difficult experiences that test what we are made of. Those times that are hardest for us are the ones that bring into question the fundamental truths of who we are and what we believe. What I believe is that every experience brings a lesson. I believe there is even value in pain. Thinking back on what I experienced I am more aware of the beauty, strength and resilence my mom displayed even in her pain. As she cried out, not in anger, but always in praise. She constantly gave praise for a life lived and not for years thought lost or stolen away. In the midst of her trial she went to her shelter and by doing so, covered us all as well. You see, as we stood by her, we were also within that arc of safety. Her life and her death were both a testament to the strength of her shelter. I am grateful that she instilled those same beliefs in her children. It’s a fact that when your light shines that bright, it’s inevetiable that those rays will land on someone else. If your still searching for your light, for your peace, for your shelter, look to those who are setting positive examples in your life. As difficult as this life can be, it would be absolutely impossible if we tried to tackle it on our own. Seek shelter. Anchor yourself so you are prepared when the storms rage.

Stream of Consciousness

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 03:46:19 +0000

There comes a point in your life when you realize that the infinite amount of time you thought you had left, is not so infinite. It may be the death of loved one that brings that realization. Or it may be some completely benign life event that bursts every bubble you’ve had floating in your head since your twenties. Either way, no matter what the catalyst, at some point you realize that this is not a dream. This is your life. Your one and only life. At that moment, you have a few choices. You could freeze. Stop right where you are and continue in a stagnant, inconsequencial existence. Or, you could cut loose whatever is binding you and fly with all your might to reach your potential! Your purpose. Hell, even if you don’t know what that is, set out to find out. You see, the key to this whole epiphany you experience, is that there is still time. Not as much as you had ten years ago or even five years ago. But, yes, there is still time! Time to become the person you dreamed you would be while you lay staring up at fat, fluffy clouds as a child. The person you envisioned when you boldy declared your major in college. Who you saw staring back at you down the road when you looked in the mirror at high school graduation. Don’t sit still any longer. If you do, then years from now, as you have yet another realization of life, you will know that you wasted so much of your time. So much of your purpose. Time and purpose that are not promised or guaranteed beyond the moment you are in….right…. now… Get up and get moving because not everyone has that chance. Peace

Encourage Yourself

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 00:10:46 +0000

Last night I was sitting in the pew while the choir at my church rehearsed. One of the songs they were singing is called Be Blessed. The song itself is absolutely beautiful. The gist of it is someone wishing others blessings and prosperity. The bridge says ” I see you in the future and you look better. I see you walking in favor and prosperity too…….you can depend on me to pray for you”. Now I’ll admit, I’m way more sensitive than most but this one got me in the gut. I sat there thinking about how wonderful it is when there is someone in your life who genuinely wishes only good for you. Someone who wants to see your life improve. I was moved to tears. I sat and really meditated on the words. And then it happened. As I was sitting there basking in good will, someone slipped me a note. It was not necessarily meant to be hurtful but it was not nice or encouraging. In that instant when I was longing for a kind word, for someone to understand how peaceful I was feeling, I instead received a face full of negativity. At first I was so disappointed I could not speak but ultimately it was a lesson for me. I have to encourage myself. I have to see myself in the future doing better. I have to be that kind voice to others who may be struggling. Not only can I not look to someone else for that I also can not let anyone take away my sense of peace and contentment. So encourage yourself and let your light be a light that guides others.

A Dose of Reality to Ruin Your Day!

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 22:07:52 +0000

The older I get, the less friends I seem to have. I say that because as I’ve aged, my definition of friendship has evolved. You can’t count everyone you spend time with as a friend. Period. Well, today was dose of reality that even jaded old me was not ready for. It led me to write a poem (my outlet for expression!). I vividly remember when I learned there was no Santa Claus. I remember, in detail, the conversation when my ex and I decided our marriage was over. I remember the end of all my significant relationships. It seems that in that moment there is a shift. Our reality of that person, of our relationship with that person, changes. It’s a sad moment and there is no returning from it. I wrote this poem the day I saw someone I loved for what he/she really was and not what I wanted him/her to be. It’s called “Perceptions”

Perceptions

It’s hard for me to focus right now

I’m so blinded by the light that

This new perception offers me

I am amazed how different

Everything appears

Without my rose colored glasses

You are not at all what I felt you to be

Instead, you are a twisted distortion

Of a fairy tale I conceived

I miss the happiness my blindness

Afforded me

It was almost a comfort, that ignorant bliss

Much better, softer, kinder than the

Reality I now see

It’s not an accident that I wasn’t aware of your faults

Maybe that’s what most relationships are made of

Euphemistic distortions that only allow us to see

What we need to see to remain connected

If I had a choice, I’d go back to my blinded state

I’d reconnect with who I thought you were,

Who I hoped you would always be

But deep inside, I know it’s not even a possibility

As much as it hurts, it is what it is and forever will be

what i say~

Janelle — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:19:13 +0000

So, I’m nervous about writing my first blog on Exposure ICON … Why? Well, it’s not often that we share our uttermost thoughts with strangers. But… my style is cool, funky, whimsical and simply “preppy sexy” if you can imagine it “sophisticated, yet country” … how could my uniqueness not be portrayed in my writing style?

Hummm…..We’ll see… By your responses (or the lack thereof)… Meanwhile, enjoy the show.

The sultry image to the right, “Beauty with an Edge” is a great piece by Stina Persson. She’s an illustrator based in Stockholm, Sweden and has a great way of balancing the fluid irregularity of ink and watercolor, with the harder edges of cut paper collage and dramatic blocks of color. I LOVE her work…Don’t you? Lemme put you on… www.stinapersson.com.